Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. Amy Rees Anderson

When employees have confidence in their leaders, they feel mutual respect, a sense of belonging and are less likely to leave. Research shows that employees at high trust companies report less stress, higher productivity, and more energy at work. Where it is absent, people quit earlier.

Trust is immensely motivating. It’s hard to describe that feeling when the door first closes on a young teacher and they have the knowledge of being trusted with the safety, well-being and learning of thirty young children. It’s an awesome responsibility.

Here’s what I’ve noticed about the people I trust
– They speak well of others who are not in the room.
– They thank people well, and spot things most do not see.
– They are interested in people’s long-term growth, as well as this term’s results.
– They share their work and themselves gracefully.

The three drivers of trust 
People tend to trust you when they are dealing with the real you (authenticity), when they have faith in your judgement and competence (logic), and when they feel you care about them (empathy).

When trust is lost, it can usually be traced back to one of these. Trust is reciprocal. When I feel trust is there from those leading me, it helps me to do my job better, and I’m more confident that things will go well. When I trust others that I lead, then I hope they feel that sense of autonomy and purpose to carry out their role with confidence. The two experiences, being trusted to do well, and trusting others to do well, is intimately connected. An increase in one encourages more of the other. 

Here are 5 ways we can build trust

1/ Do your job well  
Without trust, we don’t truly collaborate; we merely coordinate or, at best, cooperate. It is trust that transforms a group of people into a team. Stephen Covey

As a leader we aim to inspire trust. If we do that well, it makes us better at every other leadership competency. When we don’t, this lack of trust dilutes the rest of your leadership. We inspire trust by being effective at our job. By working hard, listening to feedback, making the right things happen, being on time and being honest when you get things wrong, you create confidence. You establish a track record.

We think accountability is about others. But to build trust you I need to apply this to myself. Like friendship, where you have to be a friend first to have a friend, trust works in the same make-a-deposit-first kind of way. Leaders generate trust when they welcome accountability for themselves.

2/ Be authentic – stay true to your word
Those that are most slow in making a promise, are the most faithful in the performance of it.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau

‘Do what you said you’d do‘ – is a phrase I got tired of hearing my Dad remind me, but he was dead right. It is a good discipline for us, especia lly those of us working within the shifting sands of education. Honour your commitments, keep confidences and be known for being reliable. This is the most important way to build trust in any relationship. There is something beautiful about someone who quietly and honestly goes about their business without a lot of fuss, unconsciously accumulating goodwill. Solid and steady is good.

Authenticity is critical because it deepens connection. It may be scary to admit when you’re wrong, or reveal your weaknesses, but it’s one of the fastest ways to establish trust at work. We see people’s integrity when there’s almost no gap between intent and behaviour. When we practise what we preach, when we’re the same inside and out. This absence of duplicity – this absolute simplicity – makes people credible. We are surrounded by people in the public domain who falsely withhold information, use flattery to deceive, or apply spin to stretch the truth. Because of this, people will breathe a sigh of relief when you talk straight, acknowledge if you were wrong and tell the truth in a way that cannot be misunderstood.

3/Choose your behaviour
Trust is a verb before it becomes a state. Michael Fullen

Leaders who understand the importance of thanking their team for the work they do, and who deliver that appreciation with authenticity and grace, inspire trust. I think this is because it helps us to settle in the knowledge that everybody is being valued. Effective praise is where excellent work, team behaviours and thoughtful actions are brought out of the dark for us all to see. Brilliant leaders have a knack for spotting the invisible work, the behind-the-scenes stuff. And when everybody knows that their leaders see beyond the flashy and the urgent and into the heart of the hidden but important work, It creates a powerful sense of peace and confidence. Just as really effective teachers look for the hidden child, effective leaders work hard to recognise the introspective (but hard-working) adult.

We think of trust as implicit, because it emerges indirectly through lots of other actions. But I think we need to be more explicit in modelling, so we can help leaders understand the behaviours which help establish a culture of trust. What changes in your behaviour might create more trust? How are we at: giving praise, welcoming feedback, admitting mistakes, asking for advice, valuing the expertise of others?  Our words count too. Try saying out loud: “I have confidence in you to do this,” or, “I believe you can do this.” Sometimes people have to hear that you trust them. So tell them. And then show them, by acting as though you do.

Psychological safety
When I was younger, I climbed mountains with my brother, who always led the pitches. The consequences of a loose piton (or a hex to those who know) or a poorly tied rope-knot can be pretty significant. So, seeing him install the hardware on particularly difficult sections always gave me more confidence to attempt holds and reaches that were well beyond my skill level. The trust I had in my brother’s knowledge of what we could attempt, and his attention to detail on the protection, meant it wasn’t long before I became a more confident climber. And each time I fell and was caught by the rope, I could see what he meant by an acceptable level of risk. I might get a scrape, but I wasn’t going to die.

When we first step up into leadership, we know there will be challenges. But knowing there is support above us means that we can step into the leadership space without the fear of it all going wrong. ‘What psychological safety measures do you have in place?’ is a question asked by Amy Edmondson, in The Fearless Organisation. This is not just about protection when things go wrong but also the safe space to speak the truth.

– I need to know that I can share my ideas from any seat.
– I need to trust that what I have to say will be heard, taken seriously and not held against me.
– I need to believe that my line manager wants the best for me.
– I need to know that they’re looking out for my best work but also noticing when I’m struggling.

When you get that sense that people have been talking well about you and secretly plotting your future is the beginning of trust.

Disagreement can work
While most teams avoid disagreements, they can, if handled well, make you stronger. Psychologist John Gottman noticed something counter-intuitive about happy marriages. Healthy couples often disagree more than unhappy ones, but manage them better. Instead of name-calling or sarcasm, or focusing on their partners behaviour or failures, they describe what they want and need. Like thriving marriages, successful teams don’t have less conflict, they simply see disagreement as inevitable and plan a way to navigate them.

In ‘The Five Dysfunctions of a team‘, team leader Kathryn tells the team, “Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are unafraid to show their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes, their weaknesses and their concerns without fear of reprisal.”

4/Extend trust to others
The way to make people worthy is to trust them. Ernest Hemingway

There’s a risk in never trusting – if we never develop people we’ll be fixing problems alone in the future. What distinguishes good managers from great leaders is knowing when to invest in the potential of another person. When we feel that our boss trusts us with something difficult, that is energising. To be trusted is a powerful motivator, and it multiplies discretionary effort. We probably overthink this, and take too few risks when it comes to developing the potential within our teams. It’s easy to let job descriptions be a barrier to you being brave. If the person is good enough, they’re probably ready.

Steps of trust
The I-WE-YOU classroom model helps to scaffold the level of responsibility in the development of skills, but it also provides a lesson in how we can incrementally build trust. For example, imagine we have a difficult conversation which needs to be led, and we want to develop a colleague in their ability to lead this. First, I model it by leading the discussion, while our colleague observes. The next time WE both share the responsibility, planning beforehand carefully, and deciding which elements of the conversation will be led by each of us. Finally, we help YOU plan how you’ll run the meeting and only get involved at the debrief or evaluation stage.

Kill micromanagement
It’s tricky as a manager to know if you are over- or under-managing. This is because each colleague is unique and requires a different level of support. Too light-touch and you run the risk of things not getting completed, too heavy-handed and colleagues feel distrust. One way of approaching this dilemma is to remind yourself the following: that once you’ve built the relationship, been clear about expectations and set the process (e.g. the meeting schedule) in motion, then simply trust the process and the person within it. Step back a little – don’t get your support all over them like a rash.

5/ Support your team – it’s tough out there
To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. George MacDonald

We have to better support our leaders with inspection, listening to them when they feel pressure and calling out external behaviours. Things that are preventing leaders from wanting to step up. We have to make the job less lonely and less high-stakes. So where I work, we try to support our leaders before, during and beyond the process but we don’t run ‘mocksteds (ie. while inspection is a reality I want support with, inspection should not determine my future); we make sure our regular meetings rarely mention Ofsted/SIAMS; we focus on the important upstream elements of the job (children’s learning, teaching, CPD) instead of the downstream elements (inspections, complaints, exclusions).

A Chair of Governors told me recently that soon after their new head began, they had disagreed with the head’s approach towards SEND. However, because they had hoped that they were right at the start of a long-term partnership, they were not prepared to let this issue get in the way of this working relationship. So, while there was some disagreement in private, they were publicly supportive of the Head. This built over a long period of time one of the strongest Chair/head relationships I’ve ever seen. The level of challenge was always high – but the loyalty supported that.

Being trusted to do well means we’re better at trusting others. School leaders work hard to build trust in their teams – asking lots from them and appreciating what they do for their children. And while there is scant praise from politicians, unhelpful pressure from inspection and an increasing fear of stepping up, school leaders need to trust that we have their back to be the guardians of our greatest public institution of all.